The Problem With The Cold Season
by SSBB Suicide Club
Summary: Kirby's got a cold, and that's a bad sign. Now chaos is reigning in the SSB Mansion, and there's no way to stop it. Oh, and Crazy Hand is yelling out random stuff too...
1. Chapter 1 The Beginning

The Problems With The Cold Season

_Okay people, here's the first official story of the SSBB Suicide Club as written by me, MK! Yes, there are two people running this account- me, going by MK, and my brother, going by Link. Anyways, this is a story where Kirby gets a cold. It's going to be random and insane, but also it will hopefully be hilarious. So, enjoy!_

Chapter 1- The Beginning

Meta Knight woke up to the sound of Kirby coughing and groaned. The two were roommates (unfortunately, Meta Knight was a complete neat freak and Kirby was the exact opposite) and Meta Knight just knew some trouble would come from Kirby having a cold. Kirby sneezed as he woke up.

"Oh no," he said, but it sounded more like 'oh do'.

"Didn't I tell you to at least try and not get a cold?" groaned Meta Knight.

"Id's dot by fault," protested Kirby, getting up, then groaning.

"You got up too fast, didn't you?" said Meta Knight, smirking. Kirby glared, then sneezed again. And yawned. At the same time. Unfortunately, that meant that he somehow absorbed Meta Knight and stole Meta Knight's power.

"What the heck?" said Kirby. Meta Knight groaned and slapped his forehead. He'd forgotten just how bad cold seasons were around Kirby. Kirby sneezed again, this time using Meta Knight's tornado attack, going out the door, and hitting a wall in the hallway. After a minute, Meta Knight put his mask on and grabbed his sword and followed Kirby. This was going to be a long day.

TPWTCS

"OW!" yelled Toon Link as he slipped and fell to the floor. He'd been carrying his cereal bowl when Kirby had come in, sneezed, and used Meta Knight's tornado attack on him, which made him not only drop his bowl, but also drop the milk he'd been carrying.

"Sorry!" said Kirby, stumbling up.

"You've got a cold, don't you?" groaned Link, walking up behind Toon Link. Last year it had been the same thing- Kirby had gotten a cold, and had done the same thing. It had only lasted one day, but still, havoc was wreaked upon the unfortunate members of the chaotic SSB Mansion. Kirby just nodded in response, then headed off to try and get some breakfast. On his way though, he accidentally sneezed and hit Samus, who wasn't in her power suit at the moment. This made her spill her own bowl of cereal and drop half of it in her hair.

"Hey, what was that for?!" she yelled. Kirby instantly got the idea that she was not happy about this and ran.

TPWTCS

Master Hand was just coming out of his room when he almost got hit by Kirby, who at this moment had Meta Knight's attack, and was running from Zero Suit Samus. Said female bounty hunter had both Meta Knight's and Link's swords and was chasing after Kirby yelling profanities in between other things. Meta Knight was behind her trying to get his sword back, along with Link, and Snake was video taping this for future comedic relief. Master Hand groaned.

"Great!" he said. Just as he was about to go back into his room however, one more thing made him stop.

"WATERMELONS!!" shouted Crazy Hand as he flew past at insane speeds. If Master Hand would have been human, he would have just facepalmed right then and there. This day was already too crazy for words. And it had just started.

_Okay, sorry it's so short! But this is only the first chapter, I promise. Now, you guys get to vote on who Kirby steals an attack from next, okay? Eventually he'll get rid of Meta Knight's, so then he'll steal someone else's. And you guys get to say who. Anyways, sorry that it's so short. But more will come later!_

_MK of the SSBB Suicide Club_


	2. Chapter 2 The Next Victim

Chapter 2- The Next Victim

_EEK!! Sorry about the lack of updates on this... I (meaning MK) have kinda not been working on this much. So, my bro (Link) decided to pick up where we left off (literally). The following is written by Link, with minor changes made by me (I'm official editor and word checker, so... I get stuck with this job). This chapter will probably be more funny than last time, as Link certainly has a better sense of humor than I do. And, due to unimportant-author's review, we'll be using Yoshi as the victim in this chapter. It was either that or Olimar- if I'd have written this, it would have been Olimar. Seeing as Link is a Yoshi fan, it's Yoshi. So, without further stalling, I bring you chapter two of this story!_

_Previously on 24... I mean, The Problem With The Cold Season... my mistake._

Kirby was getting chased by Samus, who was getting chased by Meta Knight and Link, who in turn were all being followed by Snake and his video camera, recording this for future comedic relief.

"You are so dead, Kirby!" yelled Samus. Then Kirby turned around and yelled back.

"If you can catch me!" He turned back around and hit the wall, which caused him to bounce back, hit Crazy Hand, who was still yelling 'WATERMELONS!', and fly towards Samus. She quickly threw Meta Knight's sword off to the side and turned the Master Sword sideways.

"Batter up!" she screamed and... BAM!! She knocked Meta Knight's power from Kirby.

"Here you go Link," she said calmly, and then walked away. Meanwhile, Kirby flew through the floor, through someone's showers, through Link and Toon Link's room, through the hall, and into Yoshi's room, where he was still asleep.

Kirby stood up, groaned, and saw Yoshi. Kirby felt a sneeze coming. Then, just as random as anything, Yoshi stood up and yelled.

"Worship the Almighty Spork!!" He was holding a spork out, which he'd gotten from seemingly nowhere. Kirby sneezed.

"WTF mate?!" screamed Yoshi from inside Kirby. Pop! Yoshi saw light. For a second, he paused, and then had one thought '_NOOOOO! NOT THE COLD FROM HECK!!'. _ Yoshi ran over, grabbed the spork, and hid.

"Okay then," said Kirby. Just then, another sneeze came up. He turned to leave. Just as soon as he sneezed, Samus opened the door to wake Yoshi up. Kirby sneezed, and Samus got turned into an egg.

"This is not my day," said Samus, now an egg. Snake happened to be coming in to see what was going on (video camera still in hand) and saw an egg.

"Buzz off Snake!" said Samus.

"Wow, a talking egg that sounds eerily like Samus! I can't resist it, I must worship!" said a very compulsive Snake. He then took the egg and ran off.

Now Kirby left and thought '_I should probably be in my room... nah._' Then he went to the kitchen and saw Zelda eating an orange. _AHCHOO!_ With another sneeze, Zelda also became one with an egg.

"WTF just happened? WHERE'S MY ORANGE?!" questioned the Zelda egg. Then Crazy Hand flew by, still going at insane speeds inside a mansion with sudden turns and long staircases, this time with another thing to yell to the heavens.

"PEACHES!" he was yelling. Then Princess Peach, who was in the next room, came in.

"Did someone call m-," she said, getting stopped when Kirby sneezed again and turned her into an egg. Then Mario ran from nowhere.

"Kirby, what have you done?!" he asked, then grapped Princess Peach's egg and ran. Right then the Samus egg rolled by.

"HELP ME!!" the egg was saying desperately. Snake was following, worshipping the great talking Samus egg. Then there was Yoshi and his spork again, begging everyone to "WORSHIP THE ALMIGHTY SPORK!!" Then...

"PEACHES!!" yelled Crazy Hand even louder as he flew back through. Then Peach's voice came from upstairs.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT, CRAZY HAND?!" she was yelling. Kirby, Link, Pit, Sonic, Meta Knight, and Olimar, who all happened to coincidentally have ended up in the kitchen, all did a mass facepalm.

"This house is so screwed up," they all said at the same time.

Kirby, finally seeing what he'd done, ran outside to get away from the people. When he got outside, the sidewalk was filled with people. In 10 seconds flat, they were all eggs, followed by, amazingly, the SSB Mansion. The next thing Kirby knew, there was a ginormous egg in the road that took up three whole blocks.

_Okay, so how'd you like that? The almighty spork joke was originally found on , and it was in a picture by a friend of mine. Anyways, Link now has a pic in his gallery of Yoshi with a spork, and Yoshi keeps saying the spork is almighty. Yeah, Link's weird. The whole 'PEACHES'! thing that Crazy Hand keeps doing is my idea. By the way, in all upcoming chapters, Crazy Hand will continue to yell random names of fruits. For some weird reason, I wanna have that little consistency. The 'Previously on 24...' thing was also my idea, as I just couldn't help myself. Yes, I changed a few things around, but for the most part, kept it the same. Now, please my dear readers, I would like to see who you want Kirby to steal a power from next (the mansion does manage to un-be an egg) and it would help greatly to see who you want to see in this story. At the SSBB Suicide Club, the customer, ahem, the reviewer, is always right. Hope you enjoyed it! Keep watching for new installments!_

_MK of the SSBB Suicide Club_

_Chapter written by Link of the SSBB Suicide Club_


	3. Chapter 3 It Started With Flames

Chapter 3- It Started With Flames

_Well, it's about time I actually typed this up. This chapter has been written already, and hanging around the house for awhile. Now I'm gonna type it up before my brother kills me. Anyways, I (MK) wrote it, and it's pretty funny. At least, me and Link think so. I hope you do to. And remember everyone, request characters by review. I may get around to some of the past requests later, but for now only the newer requests will be done. And the request depends on who me and my brother choose. If we get no requests, I'll go with a random character to use. Hopefully it'll be funny._

It had taken three minutes for the big egg to break. Now, Master Hand had left Crazy Hand (bad idea) in charge while he went to the store for some stuff.

Meanwhile, Link had knocked Yoshi's power from Kirby. Kirby was walking back to his room when he again sneezed. And stole Captain Falcon's attack. Captain Falcon somehow remained oblivious; Kirby just groaned.

As this was happening, Wolf was walking down the hall, looking at some electronic. Right as Wolf went by, Kiryb sneezed, punching Wolf's tail. Wolf was oblivious to the fact that his tail was now on fire. That is, until Crazy Hand flew by at an insane speed yelling another fruit, this time oranges. However, the oversized glove stopped and turned around.

"Hey Wolf!" he said.

"Yeah?" said Wolf, looking up.

"Your tail's on fire," said Crazy Hand.

"What?!" howled Wolf. Crazy Hand tried to fly off again, but ran into the wall. It didn't affect him at all. It took three more tries before he left, and then left Wolf and Kirby there. Kirby sneezed again, this time punching air. Wolf's eyes narrowed as he put two and two together.

"Kirby, you're dead," he growled. Kirby gulped, then turned and ran. Wolf chased after Kirby, yelling profanites and crashing things. Crazy Hand, at some point, dumped a bucket of water over Wolf, setting out the fire. Wolf was either too mad to care or simply didn't notice. Eventually, they ended up in the Mansion's garage, which held the Halberd, the Blue Falcon, Olimar's ship, three Arwings, and a few other random cars owned by residents. And currently, there was a random Smash Ball floating around. Wolf got it, and before long, he'd dented and scratched the Halberd, destroyed Samus's newly fixed up 1967 Mustang, along with all the Arwings, Olimar's ship, and the Blue Falcon. The walls and ceilings had scorch marks, and yet Wolf had still managed to miss Kirby everytime. With all the racket, lots of Smashers scame to the garage, and seeing certain ships messed up and destroyed, they started a mini war. And at some point, Crazy Hand randomly flew in, ignoring the chaos.

-

Master Hand came back and entered through the garage. However, he dropped everything when he saw how messed up the garage was.

"CRAZY HAND!" he yelled. However, his twin was already there. Crazy pointed accusingly at Kirby. Kirby, in turn, pointed to Wolf. Wolf randomly pointed at Meta Knight. Meta Knight pointed at the Halberd. The Halberd, even though seemingly inanimate and without even hands, pointed to a random laptop, which was on E-bay. The little cursor randomly pointed to an even more random picture of Bill Gates. Bill Gates pointed at the big Verizon crowd that was behind him. There was a loud whoosh noise as all the people in the crowd pointed at everything in sight, except for Samus. All the Smashers, plus the Halberd, the Dragoon, Kirby's Warpstar, a poster of Uncle Sam, all of Olimar's Pikmin, a random Waddle Dee and Waddle Doo, a CD of Rascal Flatts music, the remains of a destroyed Mustang, Snake's box, and the author all pointed to Samus, who groaned.

"Why me? Why not the random spork?" she said.

"You mean the ALMIGHTY spork!" shouted Yoshi.

"Whatever!" roared the Halberd, which caused Meta Knight, Dedede, and Master Hand to all move away from the ship.

"Besides, it's really all Kirby's fault for setting my tail on fire," said Wolf accusingly.

"Oh yeah? Who used their Landmaster to destroy the garage?" asked the computer Bill Gates. Everyone looked at him weirdly.

"Sorry Bill, but we're shutting you down," said Zelda.

No, you can't do this to me! I will hunt you down, then rip out your intestines and sell them on E-Bay!" yelled Bill Gates. Zelda closed the laptop and Meta Knight facepalmed, his phrase once again having been stolen.

"Holy shitake mushrooms," he muttered. As if on cue, Samus walked by naked.

"Samus, I'm trying to keep this PG!" he yelled.

"Well, I'm trying to keep this PG-13!" she replied. Several people laughed wildly.

"Um, you do all realize I still have a cold, right?" called Kirby. Everyone stopped, and ten seconds later, the garage was completely deserted, minus Kirby, still with Captain Falcon's power.

"See ya!" yelled the Halberd, as it flew off. At this point, both Kirby and the author facepalmed.

"Someone please tell me it's just a hallucination," he muttered as he walked off. He seriously needed an isolation chamber when he got a cold.

_So, you like it? Hopefully so. Don't know when the next chapter will be out, seeing as next week both me and my brother start school back. Remember, requests for characters are still being taken, and tell me what you liked!_

_MK of the SSBB Suicide Club_


End file.
